On to the good stuff

 So after giving birth I gave myself about a month and a half to recover and I decided to take a big step in my life. I didn't know how big it was or how much it would change my life when I signed up, but wow. Just wow!

What the heck am I talking about?

I decided to start seeing a health counselor. Her name is Hannah and her specialty is working with busy moms and their families. She was trained here (my sister-in-law is now attending). Such a wonderful and inspiring place, seriously magical things happen there and in my sessions with Hannah. 

I decided I wanted to go because I wanted to improve how I looked and ate. I was/am so self conscious about the extra weight I have been hauling around since Gabe was born. I was just DONE being the size I was. I didn't look like me, I didn't feel like me. 

I had no idea that my meetings were going to be much more than increasing my vegetable intake and reducing sugar. Health counselors are just that, counselors and there is more to life than just food, there is also your "primary" food. The other things, like love, family, children, career, exercise. Through lots of brave and heartfelt chats I realized how unbalanced I was in almost all aspect of my life (explained why I stopped making art, stopped blogging, stopped everything). It explained so much, for so long, too long I have been unhappy but didn't even realize it. How does one do that?! 

I'll tell you how, you become complacent, you don't know that the grass is greener on the other side if you don't even know that grass exists or pretend that grass only exists for other people. Once you see it and feel it, once you know a balanced life is achievable. Everything becomes clearer and so exciting. I feel like I have just met this amazing new person I want to be friends with and it's me! 

Things that have improved since going are my weight, my patience with myself and kids and husband, my need and love for self care without feeling guilty, the ability to manifest ANYTHING for myself (seriously), improved self confidence (I have a ways to go but it's so much better), how to cope with stress more efficiently, improved communication and better marriage (like WAAAAAAY better), less bitterness about being a stay at home mom (I do have options and I have been dreaming a lot about my next steps), the ability to let go of the past and forgive (so hard for me), closer relationship with my friends and a greater sense of calm and peace.

 I'm brave and smart and I really believe I can do anything. I KNOW I sound like an infomercial but it really has changed my life and trust me when I say this....my life 8 months ago was far from desirable, I was unfulfilled, I was angry, hurt, depressed and I really resented the way my life was going. I'm so grateful to Hannah for teaching me the tools I needed to turn my life around and to make my life everything I want it to be! Thank you to David for supporting me in this adventure and to Hannah, you are one special lady and I'm so happy I found you.

Comments

[kate]

wow, what a timely entry for me-- i am a sahm for two littles. the youngest is 3 months. how did you find hannah and how do i find one???

[katie]

thank you for sharing this, and for returning to the blog world! it's always nice to read things that are really truthful and in depth; there's so much on the internet that seems so surface-y and fake. I have to say, i'm a little in awe of where you are right now! i have a 14 month old son and there are days when I feel like I dont even recognize myself anymore. i never pictured this happening to myself so it's strange for me to even think about, much less deal with. . . all those things that you list as improvements are definitely things I want to improve in my life. so thanks for giving me something to think about. :)

[Hannah]

Stephanie, that was beautiful. I'm so proud of you and touched by your words. Your changes will have a ripple effect on so many others.