A Little Deer

My sweet one

 He's been having a hard time "sharing" his Mom and Dad. Trying hard to take special time just for him. Gabe always keeps us smiling and laughing, this morning he came in wearing Judah's sweater. To be fair is WAS his when he was smaller....so much smaller. I can't believe my baby is so big now.

My kind of meditation

 So today as I was dropping Gabe off at preschool I got a surprise. Today is David's helping day. SURPRISE! Not really a surprise, just me messing up the dates. I guess we are helping day wasn't the 29th. SHIT. OK.

 The teachers are awesome so I dropped Gabe and ran to the grocery store for bananas (Gabe's favorite). Helping parents are in charge of snack too. I called David and told him what happened. This is how great he is....he left work and came in his suit to be helping parent. I would have stayed but having Judah on my hip while wrangling 4 year olds is kinda tough. I thought I could do it but he insisted he come anyway. So we shared the helping parent duty to the delight of Gabe, me the first 30 minutes, him the next 2 hours and them I relieved him 30 minutes before the end. I went grocery shopping while David was being my hero. We haven't done a big shop in weeks and we just redid our budget and planning our meals is vital to staying on track. It's just to hard to haul both kids along so I took full advantage of only having one along for the ride.

So after a hectic start, I fed the kids and put them down to nap. It was my time to meditate, Stephanie style. I started a homemade chicken stock, I boiled potatoes, I made four kinds of baby food, I planned out the rest of dinner. Being in the kitchen just chopping and blending away in peace is a glorious thing. It's also fun for me to "get stuff done". See my last post for details.

Happy Tuesday!

And then I melted...

 
Judah, in between crying fits 

Yesterday was rough. Judah is teething and he cries a lot. He wants to be held ALL DAY LONG. Gabe is having a tough time watching him get all the "attention". I really feel for him. 

I cleaned house, did laundry, ran boring errands, went to the library. It was go go go all day. I was so proud of myself at all I accomplished.

When David came home I had the brilliant idea to go out to the middle eastern place for take out and then go to the park with the boys and have a little picnic. I hurried everyone out the door a bit too gruffly and was really anxious to get out of the house and just relax. I wanted to feel the last bits of the warm day while eating hummus and gyro and watching Gabe play politely with other children. I even thought to call ahead for the food. I was on a roll. 

So we get to the park, it was starting to get windy and cold and I hadn't brought a coat or sweater. Judah was beginning to get cranky. I open my falafel plate, and to my dismay there were no sauces on my falafel. No zippy hot sauce. No garlicky tahini, no hummus. I had a hissy fit. I was so mad. Then Judah started to fuss...loudly . His wines and grunts felt like someone was taking a cheese grater to me ears. I was done. David tried to be helpful with offers to hold Judah or go back and fix the food order. I instead chose to act like a four year old and silently pout and fume while refusing ALL help from David. Then I melted, I cried and blubbered and sniffed my running nose. I FELL APART. David consoled me and offered suggestions. He was wonderful. I was miserable. We ended up leaving early and  going back to fix the food order. I got my sauces. 

Now I'm sure all of you know that I didn't freak out because of the sauces. I freaked out because I did too much. I ignored myself all day long. I just pushed on through. Sometimes I just NEED to get stuff done. I want it all, clean house, clean laundry, happy kids, yummy dinner, ect. If you are that person too then we need to remind ourselves that these meltdowns are preventable most of the time. It all comes back to self care. Did I have time for a little silence during the day...no but I could have asked David when he came home to have 30 minutes to myself to nap or read or do whatever tat was relaxing that has nothing to do with the kids. I could feel tight in the chest I was so frayed that when David came home I was a total mess. I know better than to do something even more potentially stressful that I think everyone else will love and ignore that feeling. I need to remember that when I feel like this I just need to stop...breath and ask myself what I really need to do so that I feel better. I guarantee it's not going to be "throw another load of laundry in". 

yummy stuff

I like to eat. I have a few favorite snacks I'm really into lately. I thought I'd do a little show and tell

Up first is Navitas Trail MIx. I guess you could pack it in your bag to have a snack on the trail but I prefer to have a few handfuls sitting on my porch in the sun while the boys sleep. It tastes so much better when you do that.

 

The lovely hannah introduced me to my next favorite treat. It makes a good snack or quick breakfast/lunch when kids need to eat large amounts of food upon waking and then sprint out the door to preschool (I don't who that could be). The Macro Greens Bar in the chocolate and cinnamon flavor. YUM!

OH and I wanted to tell you about another great blog, Happy Foody. Sara Janssen sound like a super fun girl and has a few other blogs you should check out here and here. I have been reading along for awhile and I just love hearing about their amazing lifestyle. SO inspiring!

We LOVE almond milk in this house. Good thing since I'm on a no-dairy diet because I'm nursing and it does not agree with my little bugaboo, Judah. Here is the recipe we used and it was soooooo yummy. We have been buying it in the super market for months now, but Hannah had mentioned how great homemade was. Why do I always forget homemade is always better? I'm going to use this recipe and sub almonds for hazelnuts next!

Homemade Vanilla Almond Milk
Cookbook: Living Cuisine: The Art and Spirit of Raw Foods
Renee Loux Underkoffler
Makes 4 cups.

“A sweet and delicious fresh milk with the elegant essence of vanilla”

1 cup soaked raw almonds (soaked 4-8 hours)
4 cups filtered water
Pinch of sun-dried sea salt
1 T non-alcohol vanilla extract
1/2 vanilla bean (optional)
3 T raw honey or maple syrup (or 3 soft dates, pitted)In a blender, at medium, then high speed, blend soaked almonds, water, and sea salt until smooth. Pour through a strainer (or use a nut bag) to separate pulp. Pour liquid back in the the blender and blend in vanilla extract and bean (if using) and sweetener until smooth.

 

***OH I forgot to say, we took the almond pulp and toasted it on super low in the oven for just under an hour. I hated to see it go to waste. I plan on runing it through the cuisinart to make almond four (A great gluten free alternative!)***

What no-one told me...and what you can do about it

 

There are a lot of things no one told me about motherhood like, 

• You won't know the meaning of tired until you have your first baby
• your boobs will NEVER look the same
• no amount of cocoa butter will make those stretch marks disappear completely
• going to the bathroom without an audience is a rare occurrence
• Showering without "company" is few and far between
• You will never be on time for anything again
• your kids think you are a walking encyclopedia at all times of the day
• you will learn to fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow at the end of the day
• The phrase "the laundry is done" no longer applies to you

On a more serious note there are a few other things that can happen too (it did to me!)

• You change your name to "Mom" and forget who  iinsert  your  name  here  is 
• You might lose your spontaneity ("must plan everything...")
• Your relationship with you partner might suffer
• You might forget what makes YOU happy
• You might forget to wear what makes you feel beautiful

The good new is that if any of this sounds familiar you CAN change it!

Here are a few things that are working for me and my family.

• Take back your bedroom, no kids toys and clothes allowed. Try to keep the folded clothes piles and stacks of papers to a minimum. You deserve to have (a least) one room in the house just for you (and your partner). I look at our bedroom as a sensual retreat, fresh flowers and a yummy smelly candle can be all it takes.
• Give you and your partner at least one hour of kid free time to just chat about your day, something you saw, read or heard that interested you, BEFORE you go to the bedroom. Falling asleep while the other one is talking isn't fair to either of you.
•  Also try to plan for serious conversation or confrontation (not always possible). Sometimes it takes the stress out a little bit if you know a certain conversation is coming up at say 8pm on Thursday.
• Get dressed, no like REALLY dressed. Like you used to before kids, even if you don't think anyone is looking. Get a few new tops (CUTE ONES, not just functional) to wear with your jeans. Don't forget the earrings. I swear by earrings. I also swear by flowy, long scarves. You deserve to look beautiful NOW, not 10, 20, 30 or even 40lbs from now. You will feel sooo good and people will pick up on that.
• Remember what inspired you and made you feel like you. Was is cooking something fancy, camping, art, writing, walks in the park, meditating, some sort of sport? Make time for it...now.
• Take one weekend day and DON"T plan it. Just see what happens, take a drive and see where you all end up.
• FInd a hobby not tied to your kids, try something new. Rock climbing always sounded fun to you?Piano lessons you always wanted as a kid? Do it!
• Plan a girls night out at least once a month. It's so nice to chat with your girls about anything you want for as late as you want. It's also a great excuse to try that new martini bar or fabulous restaurant that uses local ingredients. Don't forget to dress up!

That's all I got right now and I have to go see about a little someone who shall remain nameless, who is refusing to nap. Oh and if you have some tips of your own leave a comment, I'm sure all of us would love to hear!

Now go start NOT planning your weekend!